let's talk about Votes baby.

photographic evidence of the last election i agreed to work:

+ as you can see— i was already enraged.

prior to this, i was simply “impassioned” + “determined to do my part” to preserve the dignity of the American voting system.

but after 7 years of work, from ‘09 to ‘17, direct with my local election board, + then at least a cameo or 2, like this one— i have much stronger convictions about what is actually going on behind the curtain.

. . .

i have awakened these last few mornings absolutely burdened for our country— for the voters who are being lied to. for the citizens who don’t know the lies from the Truth because they’ve been told so many lies over so many elections, that all of the nonsense sounds like all of the nonsense they’ve always heard. so it must still all be True, right?

i, unequivocally, believe that most American voters take this "right," the “privilege” to vote, this "responsibility," this "civic duty," painfully seriously.

in fact, i don't know anyone who doesn't feel BIG about their vote.

unless they've gone too far past the big feelings + now they feel nothing at all.

they call that: "voter apathy."

+ i have opinions about that, too.

. . .

my role in the 2016 Presidential election, between Hillary + Trump, at the height of my election board “career,” was as the co-manager of the largest advance voting location in our county. our team comprised of 5 trained members of the local election board PLUS a dozen or two temporary workers from a temp agency with financial ties to a very well-known Atlanta political presence. (clears throat.) (which means, do your research.) we processed thousands of votes everyday, for weeks. we opened the polls for voting at 7am + closed the polls for voting at 7pm, monday through saturday. we were on-site at the polling location for 16-18 hours, daily. we were up before the dawn + working hours that many voters couldn’t conceive.

my unique assignment, albeit an unofficial title, during that election was as the Trouble Shooter. i sat at a desk with a “Captain’s view” of the voting room, acutely aware of everyone + everything happening. i could sense a problem before anyone else knew there was a problem.

hello, Empath.

it was my job to handle anyone who had an issue. + y’all. 2016 was The Year for a LOT of people to have issues.

but it wasn’t my job to have an opinion about ANYONE or their issue. it WAS, however, my job to maintain decorum, respect, + integrity to our county voting structure. to treat Human Beings with dignity. to listen. to calm. to de-escalate. to leave people feeling heard + seen + treated equally.

i can’t tell you how many times a voter would be in panic when they got to my desk but would ask for a hug when they left.

because KINDNESS speaks, y’all.

i learned so much in that season of work about how desperately people need to be Loved.

. . .

the Truth is, i can't stomach another post-election war between the 1/2 of my world who votes with their wallet + the other 1/2 of my world who votes with their feelings.

further Truth— i can relate to both sides.

well. about some things.

even MORE Truth— i brazenly wore a red maga hat OUT IN PUBLIC, was photographed, AND shared the photo on my @rockonbarefoot ig page + old facebook on Presidential Election Day 2020. i did so because i felt strongly about electing an American President who would focus on a strong and growing economy.

as a Single Mom who navigated poverty for years as i was raising Jakob + Lola, TRUST ME— being poor got OLD. also. i’m not sure I have that many feelings left in me after navigating Life on this rock for 44 years. so what i did know, or thought i knew, or maybe we should stick to: what i believed… was that i wanted to hire the CEO (President) who would run the country i am a citizen of into PROFIT.

that is, until a precious human wrote to me + told me how that maga hat photograph made her hate me. made her see me as a white supremacist. made her see me as someone who hated other races + cultures + wanted America to go back to the "glory days" before we were integrated.

shocked that my excitement for economic success was being perceived as me being a racist, i quickly saw that the more i wanted to defend my stance, the more guilty i would sound. the phrase, “Doth protesteth too much,” always surfaces when someone gets super defensive after an attack of their character. 44 years has also taught me: it’s better to ingest the accusation and go prayerfully into communion with Jesus than to attempt to convince someone who has already made their mind up about you that they have misunderstood you. but even more deeply, i realized that her convictions were as powerful + as important as mine.

so i just decided to get reallllly quiet about my political ideology—

+ ask myself the hard questions in my quiet space with Papa:

am i a racist?

would i even know?

was i raised in privilege in a system that favored white advancement?

have i been programmed to believe that i am a part of an elite class that is better off without the “dregs of society weighing us down”?

is that what maga even means?

. . .

instead of dismissing these questions, i just have let them stir in me. for FOUR ENTIRE YEARS.

but now i’m ready to speak.

. . .

please, my sweet Friend reading this,

please.

decide today that the war we as Americans should be fighting is not against our neighbors, our colleagues, our family members, or our friends who vote differently than us.

please.

decide today that YOU, as an individual, will not allow the results of next week’s election (assuming there will be “fast” results— lol. but that’s a whole’nother discussion) — that you will not allow the election results to shake your Faith in Good. listen. we ALL feel strongly about having a nation we can be proud to hand down to our progeny. but if we’re being really, truly, bravely honest— that job doesn’t lie in the government. that’s a job that takes place in the Home.

please.

decide today that YOU, as a Human Being, as an American voter, will not resort to treating anyone, regardless of how different they are from you, in a disgusting or cruel manner. i find it best human practice to treat others the way i want to be treated. which means— if you don’t want someone mocking or belittling your ideas + convictions, than don’t mock someone else’s ideas + convictions.

just see yourself OUT.

because here’s the crux, y’all—

in 44 years on the planet, i’ve never witnessed an elected official actually having a personal impact on my Life outside of how much money they take out of my earnings, whether by tax off the top or tax when i participate in the purchase of goods and services.

that’s it.

that’s literally the entire relationship i have with American politics.

i have never witnessed legislation or political leadership “making” human beings be kind.

what’s worse— the governments — local, state, AND federal— can use my money however they see fit. to pay for war. to pay for murder. to pay for mayhem.

which kills my soul. which motivates me to “vote” for a candidate whose core belief system supposedly aligns the most with my own convictions— which are surely to be triggering + offensive to any number of Americans who think i’m a pig— so that the energy i invest into the economy through work and exchange, is maybe, hopefully, sweet Jesus, have mercy, spent on that which is Lovely and Good. NOT killing. NOT war. NOT mayhem.

so.

perhaps this blog is to confess that i’ve fallen into the insanely dangerous category of politically apathetic. feeling indifferent to whichever name has been stuffed in the ballot box. indifferent to which parties’ cheaters have out-cheated the other parties’ cheaters. feeling like there is no fundamental difference between either candidate or their party because i see equal parts of disgusting behavior on both sides, ALL sides (for my staunch libertarians, independents, and moderates) of EVERY aisle.

what if, y’all? what if none of it means what we think it means?

what if it’s all a ruse to entertain us and to keep us engaged in something that sucks the absolute joy out of our Lives and potential relationships? what if the entire point of the modern American political system is to keep us on the edge of fear and panic ALWAYS. as they siphon more money off the top while we’re distracted?

. . .

+ just for the record: i am PRO-Human. i am PRO-respect. i am PRO-shutting up and listening to others who don’t think like you. i am PRO-learning from opposing views.

. . .

please.

don’t destroy each other as we approach next tuesday and whatever aftermath comes.

please.

the way you treat your enemy says WAY more about you than the way you treat your friends.

i Love you. and i mean it.