untangled.

it’s still dark outside as my mind begins to crack open. i went to bed embarrassingly early last night after giving into a bit of wildness on wednesday.

from the outside looking in, i know that one of the primary hallmarks of my perceived Life is extreme discipline. + that is true about 87% of the time.

i have spent years of focused time + energy practicing the Art of telling myself: no. + meaning it.

but my wild-inner-child still longs to be set free from time to time. + if not set free intentionally, she rattles the cage + shakes the gate until she loosens herself from her chains + can run wild into the night—

i am still learning to be gentle with myself.

. . .

so before i tucked myself in, i let the bottom of my feet sync into the green grass as the sun lollygagged in the evening sky, as if not quite ready to call it a day— taking in the sights + the smells + the sounds of Living. the healing significance of connecting to the earth with our barefeet is highly under-discussed + underrated. i could write a whole book about why barefoot is better— the title might be something clever, like: get lost + get right with your sole. (file under: tshirt slogans, things to paint.)

. . .

i approach the end-beginning of my solar rotation on the floating rock. this cosmic anniversary of revolution always stirs my soul. introspection. retrospection. future-spection. contemplation.

until..

wild. unleashed. untamed.

the dichotomy of my energy is still shocking to me after almost 43 clicks around the Son. i am definitely not boring. ‘still full of vigor + mischief + shenanigans.

dancing with young, elegant, finely-styled r+b musicians in a parking lot under a fullmoon because no dance floors around could offer up the freedom i needed to move + laugh + breathe.

discussing quantum entanglement + the richness of music to the Life experience over an ice-cold draught in a smoky divebar with characters who are extraordinarily deep thinkers — although more-often discounted as drunks + stoners than society’s most brilliant minds.

encouraging + being encouraged. swapping stories of Life with strangers who come + go. debating the idealism of socialism vs. the realism of competition all while being relaxed + okay if the other conversationalists disagree. being something other than disciplined.

being the free.

this freedom in me is what keeps me untangled. is what keeps me from getting too close to the edge.

. . .

i sense an unleashing of blessing, a harvest of Good seeds planted over many, many, many hard years. the beginning of a return on a lifetime’s (so-far) worth of investing in believing the Good + wearing Grace as my banner.

she who is forgiven much.

is she who has Lived + laughed + Loved… and is free.

. . .

it’s a good day to have a Good Day, sweet friend. — the religious implications of the calendar day are not lost on me. i am currently studying in the book of Mark. i Love me some Jesus stories. i speak the words over my lips in the slow-beat of the dawning morning. Jesus, Healer. Jesus, Revolutionary. Yeshua, Messiah. Yeshua, Friend.

. . .

if i may be so bold, allow me to encourage you for a minute— to forget about the “going to church for Easter” (where does that word even come from?) stuff for just a few minutes today + peel those fancy foot bags off + go sync your barefeet down into the ground. smell a flower. watch little bugs crawl by. listen to a bird sing a little ditty. notice the resurrected Life all around. breathe in Papa’s Love. breathe out the affliction of chaos. become untangled.

you are Loved. you are known. you are definitely not boring. you is wild + free.

now be.

Love you. mean it.